Feeling the Love: What's a Mom Gotta Do?!

He's never too old to need his mama when he's sick.

I have written of the accolades of raising boys. I truly wouldn't trade it for the world. However, it can have the nominal downside at times. 

Allow me to wallow in a moment of benevolence and self pity for a wee bit won't you? You see this week has brought with it the stark realization that I am no longer the woman in my boys' lives. A moment of silence for the end of a glorious era if you please.


I admit I could be being a tad melodramatic even for me. Ok a lot, but I'll just come out with it. This sucks.

So what revelations brought me to this sad, but nevertheless indisputable fact? I'll start with Sebastian. After weeks of unreturned phone calls and messages where I inquired oh so subtly about how he was doing and if he was still breathing and whatnot, I'm not ashamed to admit that I commenced a full on emoji assault complete with Hello Kitty, some ugly chickens, a couple of annoying cats, and several Duck Dynasty' s Uncle Si to name a few. And yet what was the response I received? Crickets. What's a mom to do?

Then there is Chancellor. Ah Chancellor: athletic phenom and sports facts savant. Nothing in my younger years prepared me for him. In school I played softball, volleyball, ran track, high jumped, played basketball, and played football. I was a cheerleader (yes, it's a sport). I watched the Pistons religiously. Yet it wasn't enough. Grown men couldn't keep up with him. 

This past week was spring break. I envisioned long days at the park, movies, and heart to heart talks while braiding each others hair (ok kidding...sorta). But what I ended up with were hours upon hours where I was begrudgingly forced into the purgatory more popularly know as March Madness. In the entire week Chance was home I can count on two hands the number of full sentences he sufficiently formed and one of them was, "Boy Mom, You sure talk a lot." The love I felt was palpable. Confused

The days I have with him spending time playing football and basketball are numbered, as it should be. He is growing up and I'm glad he's coming into his own. 

Am I truly happy that my job is nearly done and that I've raised self sufficient young men who can take care of themselves? Oh heck no! But I'm sure that day will come. 

A couple of weeks ago Seb was sick and called to see if I could take him to the doctor. Then he came home and let me take care of him. As bad as I felt for him, I did a bit of a happy dance for me. He even gave me an, "I'll always want my mom when I'm sick." What what?! Holla!!

So I suppose the future is inevitable and that I will eventually love that my boys will be men who will stand on their own two feet. But until then they know I am always here if they need to be cared for, or need money, a good meal, a car to borrow, a kidney, or what have you. I'm sure sadness will follow, but hopefully when all is said and done, I'll be able to comfort myself on a job well done. 

Yeah...still sucks;)