Why Not to Murder Your Ex...Bueller? Bueller? ;)
Ok...before we all get up in arms this is not a post bashing my ex. He is actually a pretty decent fella. He is the best father I know. He is a wonderful example of a Godly man. A lot of men could take lessons in chivalry from him. The man has now helped me move three times. He fixes my car. He even takes my car for oil changes (and car washes;). And in return I feed him chocolate chips, sweets, and the occasional meal. I am also forever giving him dating advice whether he asks for it or not. Because believe it or not, some men are clueless when it comes to the ladies. Yes. We have a weird relationship, but it works for us and especially for our son. So to preempt the question inquisitive minds are probably wondering. To quote the ever mindful and wise Miss Taylor Swift, "We are never ever ever ever getting back together." For goodness sake there's a reason we're divorced. Let's not get crazy. But we made our child together and made the conscious effort to put him before ourselves...especially in the beginning when I, myself, wished him physical harm. Just sayin.'
He and Chancellor are the best of friends and are alike in almost every way. No really. It's seriously scary. They have the same particular walk, eating patterns (as in they eat one thing at a time), and love of sports. They even have matching stances. They would both also be perfectly comfortable with a game on for endless hours with no human contact. My kid may look like me, but he is so his father's son. It's freakish really. It can be annoying at times, but if I wanted my son to look up to someone it would be his dad.
So all of his accolades withstanding, why do I find myself wanting to wring my ex's neck this evening??? For answers to this question please see exhibit A above. I mean GEEZE ALREADY! I won't lie. Joint custody hurt after having full for so long, but needing an appointment to see my kid is unacceptable.
I could easily go on a long rant. BUT I'm going to stop right here...because at least he's in his son's life. Because he's never missed even one child support payment. Because he goes out of his way to make sure our son gets every opportunity. Because he misses work and free time to make sure Chance gets to his many many practices. Because I've seen the countless sacrifices he has made over our son's nearly fifteen years. Because Chancellor loves him. Because if there were nothing else, he gave me our son.
In an age where men and women are abandoning their children or using them as pawns to torture one another we have found a way to not only get along, we are (almost) friends. I will be perfectly frank. I began this post very angry with my ex. It's why I decided to write a list of his attributes instead of focusing on my acrimony.
We are in no way perfect. He ignores me when I get annoyed at the crazy schedule he has our kid on and I tell him he can't pray away stupid when he drives with said kid in ice storms to make it to an out of town game. We keep it real yo.
I'm sure there are going to be a few more occasions where we disagree. In fact that is just a given. Heck even happily married couples disagree on what's best for their children. He'll annoy me and I'll get pissy. It's how we roll. But I can say with much certainty that Chance has an awesome childhood and great parents. We have one of the most well adjusted kids I know. I couldn't have said this if we had chosen hatred and bitterness over being grownups and putting Chance first. So bring on the final four years. Ups and downs aside, I'm fairly certain we've got this.