Where My Ladies At?


They say that chivalry is dead. The question is, exactly who killed it? Is being a lady in 2016 really so outdated? I say no.

If you follow my posts you will already be apprised to the inner workings of my thought process. But please allow me to catch the newbies up a bit.

I grew up without my dad. I would go into more details, but that's a whole other Oprah show. My grandfather filled in gaps, and he was a solid 10 on the "replacement dad" scale. I quite honestly would have given a hundred bio dads for one of him.

My grandfather was a Pentecostal minister. So you're probably imagining a "fire and brimstone" Bible thumper who cracked the whip. Yeah...not so much. To the complete dismay of my mother (who by the way would describe him as the former) he trusted me. I mean, I begrudgingly sat through my fair share of truly awkward (shudder) talks about boys and where their minds really were at 110% of the time. And I've quite honestly lost track of the number of guys who had to actually come to the door and do the whole proper introduction, hand shake, and "this is the time she will be returned" sort of thing. Poor fellas really didn't know what they were in for. But, well, it worked. If I wanted to be kissed before my 90th birthday I had to take things into my own hands. Sheesh.

Notice I said "kissed." That's right. A girl can stop there. We aren't indebted to even that. I frankly don't care how much dinner and a movie costs. Even if going to a movie these days could sponsor a third world village, I owe my date nothing but a polite thank you.

I like to dress up. I'm not even ashamed to admit that I dress a little sexy at times. Does that, in any way, de-value me? No

As a matter of fact, I dress for myself. If a guy happens to appreciate it, well good for him. I guess we'll just call that perk. But, does my brain or my heart shrink when the heels get higher or I show a bit more cleavage than normal? I'm a lady, not a nun. Last I checked we women came equipped with breasts and a brain.

Despite what social media, sex ed, TV, movies, and our friends say, not everyone is having sex. I waited. I wasn't ridiculed by my friends, or anyone else at school for that matter. I was plenty "popular." I wasn't exiled for saying no. It was quite the contrary. While my sister was teasing me for my choices, I was receiving three dozen roses from three different guys on Sweetest Day. I'm not bragging. I'm making a point. I respected myself. So the guys interested in me had no choice but to do the same. Were there guys who tried. Um...is the sky blue? They're not monks. But I didn't really need my grandpa. At 5' 3" and 98 lbs, I unwittingly intimidated most boyfriends and dates. Yet it didn't deter them at all in their chase. 

Was I ever tempted? I'll repeat...I'm not a nun. But nothing was more important to me than waiting until I was ready. Which for me was my wedding night. If I had given in would that have made me less somehow? No. It was just my choice. Could I have gone right back to plan me A? Of course. I don't care if you're a virgin or have slept with the equivalent of a basketball team. A girl can choose to say no or stop having sex all together at any time. And that, Boys, includes when things happen to already be hot and heavy. Deal.

I love the quote...

"Beautiful things don't ask for attention." ~James Thurber

Because we really don't need to. The right guy will see us in all our messy bun, no makeup, T-shirt and sweats wearing glory and think we're exquisite. The only guy deserving of you already knows your worth. So yes, Ladies, chivalry does still exist. It may just take raising our own standards and accepting nothing less. When a guy has met his match he'll up his game exponentially.

Funny how that works... ;)